It is strange blogging in my mother’s living room right now. Two and a half months ago I sold my car, I quit my job, I left my friends and family, I said goodbye to my boyfriend, and I moved to Australia. I spent the better part of last year planning and saving for a life change I knew the Lord was leading me to.
And yet, here I am, at my mom’s house. Just in case there is any confusion, my mom’s house is not in Australia.
About six weeks into my time in Australia, I got a call from my baby sister. Her boyfriend had proposed and they wanted to get married right away, before they went to seminary together. My next decision was clear, I could never miss my baby sister getting married.
My time in Australia was coming to an end after only six weeks.
I was sure the Lord was closing the door on my time there, because over the last year, I have prayed through faith the Lord would open the doors He wanted me to go through and close the doors He didn’t want me to walk through. I feel confident the Lord was honoring my prayers for clarity and I came home.
While the decision to come home was easy, the aftermath of moving to another country and then moving home again was overwhelming. Sure, I was home with the people I loved, I was going to be able to help my sister plan her wedding, and I got to see my boyfriend again, which was more wonderful than words could say, but materially, through my fleshly eyes, I had nothing. I was starting from zero.
I sold my car, I quit my job… I don’t even have a cell phone.
I was feeling so discouraged. Why would the Lord tell me to leave? What was the point if He was just going to bring me back so quickly? Why would he have me sell everything I owned if I was just going to have to save for and furnish an apartment when I got home six weeks later?
Blake kept telling it was all going to work out. I would tell him how stressed I was about finding a job or getting a car or moving into my own place and he would say, “Baby, you know it’s going to be okay, you know the Lord is going to provide for you.” For whatever reason, his responses would always annoy me and I even snapped at him once or twice, (sorry, baby). I KNOW the Lord is going to work it out, the question was how?
I started applying everywhere! I was emailing and calling places, asking my friends about their places of work and praying that something would open up. For almost three weeks I heard nothing. Then Amber sent me an email with a job opening in St Pete and I sent my resume.
Six days and two interviews later, I had a job. A good job. In the area I wanted to be in. Working for someone I know I can learn a lot from.
Praise. The. Lamb!
But wait! How the heck am I going to get to work?!
Blake asked me how I felt, and I told him I was was feeling anxious about how I was going to get to work living in a different city, and his response was,”You still feel anxious? After all this?”
Yes. Even after all of this. In case you don’t know, I am a worrier. Not because I am faithless. I know that God will provide, He always does. I know that He will give me what I need, in His timing. I have learned over the last five years, the Lord ALWAYS provides.
I would just really like to know how.
Three days after I was blessed with this job, the Lord opened the doors for me to move into an apartment the church owns right next door to my job while I can save up money for a down payment on a car and my own apartment.
God is so good to me.
But wait!? There isn’t any internet in the apartment and I don’t have a phone yet. How am I supposed to live in my own apartment in a totally different city from my family without any way to get in touch with them if I have an emergency?
But wait, there’s more!!
Geeze, this is like a bad infomercial.
I don’t have any money to buy groceries for my new apartment for the next two weeks. Ugh! What am I going to do?
An hour after I told my mom, baby sister and heart brother my concerns about groceries, my older sister wrote me to tell me my brother in law decided they needed to bless me financially.
I can get groceries and I can get my phone turned on.
I think the Lord, in the last week, has enjoyed creating the opportunity for Him to provide and then shocking me with how He does.
Here I am, three and a half weeks after leaving Australia, I have a new job, a new apartment, and money to hold me over until my first paycheck.
I still am not sure why the Lord had me sell all of my possessions, quit my job, leave the people I love the most, and move to Australia just to come home again six weeks later. But His provision have confirmed His will was to close the door when He did.
He is teaching me things, even if I am not sure what they are just yet.
“And which of you by being anxious can add a single hours to his span of life?” Matthew 6:27